Do you have teens or tweens? Then you know exactly what I am talking about. There is no end to the drama that encumbers your life when you live with young people ages 11-18. I knew it would be a rough time, I was a teen once and I was not a very nice one. I also knew that it would be hard to raise teenagers. I guess I just didn’t visualize the scope of issues I would be dealing with.
I’m going to take a moment right now to thank my generous, loving, caring, beautiful mama for not killing me when I put her through the crap I’m dealing with. I love you mama!
So let’s break this down. You have teen boys and you have teen girls. HUGE DIFFERENCE!! Teen boys are supposed to be easy right? Teach them some morals and how to be a man, instill a good work ethic in them and make sure they don’t get anyone pregnant and you’re good to go, right? Wrong! OK, I am not naive. I know there is more to it than that. But I guess I thought that boys really would be easier! My oldest son is 14, he was in a horrific car accident (read more about this here) when he was almost 5 and suffered a traumatic brain injury. We deal with more than just the run of the mill gamut of teen boy stuff. I am learning to teach him how to act like a 14 year old. Academically and physically he is a normal teen. Emotionally, he is approximately 9 years old. So the combination of hormones, peer pressure and a lack of social consciousness appropriate for his chronological age come into play. And boy are his hormones raging! He is 14 after all. His entire brain is wrapped up in girls, boobs, food, girls, video games, boobs and girls! To make a long story short, he deals with his infatuation with girls at a 9 year old’s level, yet his body is 14. His impulse control could use some work, and he doesn’t understand teen relationships quite as well as he should. This has been a struggle for almost a year now, getting him into trouble at school (nothing too serious), getting him grounded from his cell phone, computer and all electronics constantly and has resulted in the lost of trust with me. The perpetual merry go round of gaining trust, losing trust, building trust is wearing me thin. I just keep telling myself that in 4 years, he can graduate (hopefully), get a job (maybe) and move out (where?). We will cross these bridges when we get there, we have a long, long road ahead of us preparing this young man for adulthood and teaching him life skills so he can eventually live a normal life. That is pretty much the short and sweet of my rant for him for now. Yeah, we have arguements about chores and schoolwork. Yeah, we have sibling shouting matches and altercations. But for the most part, that’s it in a nutshell.
Girls on the other hand, are a completely different story. And I’m tired, so I’ll tell you about them another day, if she’ll ever let me have more than 3 minutes on the computer again!
I just realized I referred to my family unit as we for this entire post. I can’t figure out if that is left over from the “we” of my former marriage, or if I truly view myself as a “we” now that I am a single parent. That is an interesting topic I will have to explore in my mind and share the outcome with you at a later date as well. What do you think?